Fighting the Fear and Pain of Rejection: Responding with the Word of God

As believers we know we will face rejection from the world.  Jesus came to those who were His own, but He was rejected by them (John 1:11).  Jesus said, “If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you” (John 15:18-20a).  So, as we seek to follow Jesus and live by the truth of His Word alone, we know and should expect that we will be rejected, but sometimes the fear of future rejection and the pain of past rejection can cause a spiritual battle and like any other battle we must respond with the Word of God. 

First let’s look at the fear of future rejection.  Fear of rejection comes when we want man’s approval.  Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  We don’t follow Christ to gain man’s approval, if man’s approval was our goal, then we would not have become followers of Christ.  Paul wrote, “No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the One who enlisted him” (2 Timothy 2:4).  So, as believers we must shed the desire to please man and seek to please the one who enlisted us.  We do this through the Word of God.  Our greatest weapon against the fear of being rejected by man, is believing the truth of having been chosen by God. Not chosen by man but chosen by our perfect, invincible God.  It is a very pleasant thing to have been chosen (John15:16). Chosen as a treasured possession (Deut. 14:2). Chosen out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9). Chosen before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). And chosen with such fervent love that, even though I didn’t choose Him first (John 15:16) and even though I once chose darkness (1 Peter 2:9) and even though I still sin (no verse proof required there but I’ll give it anyway, 1 John 1:8), He doesn’t condemn me (Romans 8:1).  In fact, He doesn’t even remember my sin (Jeremiah 31:34).  Jesus will never reject His own.  Even if we are faithless, He will remain faithful, because He cannot deny (also translated reject) Himself (2 Timothy 2:13).  Believer, believe.  Take these scriptures and set your mind on them, thank God for them, think accordingly, and then act accordingly.

Second, let’s look at the pain of past rejection.  Perhaps you have already been rejected and you are hurting.  Perhaps you were rejected by a friend, a spouse, a parent, a child, a member of the church.  I say this with tears of love: examine yourself.  See if the pain of that rejection is revealing sin in your life, the sin of seeking security in man’s opinion of you rather than in the righteousness of Christ and the identity you have in Him. If so, then praise God for His conviction and ask for His forgiveness.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  “Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work” (2Timothy 2:20-21).  When the Holy Spirit has convicted us of sin, we are to put off the old self of sin and then be renewed in the spirit of our minds and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22-23).  So let us overcome the painful thoughts of rejection by replacing them with thoughts of God.  Rather than focusing on other’s opinions of you, glorify God for who He has made you in Christ. In Christ you have every spiritual blessing in the Heavenly places (Ephesians 1:3).  In Christ you are holy and blameless (Ephesians 1:4).  In Christ you are predestined to adoption as sons (Ephesians1:5).  In Christ, God’s grace is freely bestowed on you (Ephesians 1:6).  In Christ you have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of your sins, according to the riches of His grace which he lavished on you (Ephesians 1:7).  In Christ you have an inheritance (Ephesians 1:11).  In Christ you are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise (Ephesians 1:13).  In Christ you are seated with Him in the Heavenly places (Ephesians 2:6).  In Christ you have been created for good works which God prepared beforehand so that you would walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).  In Christ you who were formerly far off were brought near by the blood of Christ (Ephesians 2:13).  In Christ you have access in one Spirit to the Father (Ephesians 2:18).  In Christ you are a fellow citizen with the saints of God’s household (Ephesians 2:19).  In Christ you are being built together into a dwelling place of God by the Spirit (Ephesians 2:22).  In Christ you are a fellow heir and fellow member of the body and a fellow partaker of the promise (Ephesians 3:6).  In Christ you have boldness and confident access through your faith in Him (Ephesians 3:12).  These references are all from Ephesians because I recently studied that book, but there are so many more.  I encourage you to keep a list in your notebook of everything God’s Word says you are in Christ.  And don’t forget to always write “in Christ.”  You are not these things; you are these things in Christ.

Whether you are battling a fear of future rejection, or overcoming the pain of past rejection, the answer is in the Word of God.  Know that you are chosen by God.  Know who you are in Christ.  Believer, believe! And may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope (Romans 15:13).

*All Bible quotations are taken from the ESV unless otherwise noted.

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